Are You Coachable?
Enjoy the quote for the day:
Thank you for finding this web page that was created on June 14 1999 and by June 2005 was viewed by more than 25,000 individuals from around the world. This site contains a Disclaimer located on the bottom of this page.
|Adult Children||Another Adult Children||Adult Children Christian|
There are over 230 sites offering adult children of alcoholics recovery information. If you go to amazon.com and place the words (for instance) "adult children of alcoholics" in the search line, you'll find a large number of books on the subject, too. Many adult children attend other 12 step meetings, too. Below are just a few of the online resources:
This version of the Serenity Prayer written by Rozanne S, a member of Overeaters Anonymous, in 1968. It was included in hand outs at NY CoDA and ACoA Conventions. It is my favorite version of the serenity prayer. Enjoy.
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the people I cannot change,
The courage to change the one I can
And the wisdom to know that one is me.
I put my hand in yours,
And together we can do,
What we could never do alone.
No longer is there a sense of hopelessness
No longer must we each depend
Upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now,
Reaching out our hands
For power and strength greater than our own.
And, as we join hands,
We find love and understanding
Beyond our wildest dreams.
Rozanne S, OA 1968
From the book, The Acoa (Adult Children of Alcoholics Experience), by Tony Allen and Dan F. Click here. This is the original typed list!
From Adult Children of Alcoholics.
1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.
2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.
3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
4. Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without mercy.
5. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty having fun.
6. Adult children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously.
7. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships.
8. Adult children of alcoholics overreact to changes over which they have no control.
9. Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation.
10. Adult children of alcoholics usually feel that they are different from other people.
11. Adult children of alcoholics are super responsible or super irresponsible.
12. Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.
13. Adult children of alcoholics are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsively leads to confusion, self-loathing and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.
Disclaimer on site since 1999: This site contains excellent recovery resources, some of which are commercial enterprises. The inclusion of any site does not imply endorsement nor recommendation of that site. This web page is not affiliated with any therapist, recovery center, recovery author, re-hab, specific non-profit twelve step group, organization, general service offices, board of directors, etc. We are definitely not associated with the group who calls themselves the "official" site for ACoA. I created this web site solely for Informational purposes, and I assume no liability for any claims or information contained in any of the linked sites. As they say " take what you like and leave the rest".
To date more than 100 books include information on the topic of adult children of alcoholics, a term first referenced in public literature in 1983 by Janet Woititz. (book updated 1990). But before that, in 1976-77 a group of Alateen graduates, spearheaded by Tony Allen and Kathleen S., started a new 12 step group in NY called Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA). Tony was a stock broker on Wall Street. Before his death in 2004, at the age of 77, he became a meditation teacher at the Renaissance Institute in Boca Raton, Fla. Many of the first ACoA meetings also included a therapist.
If you are familiar with 12 step groups, one thing that ACoA did not do was create rules or traditions for its members. They did not follow the 12-step formula of the 12-steps or Tradition. ACoA was created as a loosely knit community and was not started to become a world-wide movement. They allowed outsiders to speak and teach at their events. In fact, those events were even promoted at meetings. All that lead to a very strong recovery movement in the in the 1980's. I was proud to be a part of it. ACoA World Service closed its doors in the late 80's and many of its members went to other 12 step groups, mostly Coda or Alanon or worked more with therapists.
In the 1980's Jack started another 12 step adult children organization on the west coast, whose name closely resembles ACoA. Today, their numbers are very small and many commercial web sites link to that organization's web pages. I used to have a link to their site from this page. I event even was a member of a few of their groups; however, it's full of rules and regulation; which they call guidelines.
I never made a penny from having their listing on this page; or from anyone else, either. I created this page to help others, who were like me and wanted more information on being an ACoA. In fact, the only way you will find this page is through a search on the web.
In February 2007 I received a certified letter, badly copied and worded, from that west coast organization, implying it was from their lawyer (this from a group who always seems to need funds, cause they have little) The letter stated "that I was to remove references of [their name here] from my site, which promotes commercial interest for my benefit." It further stated that "when someone goes to your webpage, it is easy to assume that [there name here] is affiliated with your business venture."
Benefit? Bull***. I've never received a client from this page or any money. However, I do enjoy it when I hear from other adult children who thank me for this page of resources.
So, even though I have always had a disclaimer on this site, I have removed references to their organization from this page. Since they are spending their time monitoring this web page, I'm sure they'll tell me what other references they think I should remove.
If you really want to deal with an organization such as theirs, you can find them through most of the links on this page. OR go to the web and take the o out of ACoA :)
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